I didn't finish my story about my time in rehab, but God is leading me to move on. A friend of mine has encourage me to keep writing so I will. But I started a new blog. What's this God Thing. http://whatsthisgodthing.blogspot.com/2011/10/talking-with-god.html I made my first post this morning.
We had a reunion last weekend at the rehab and saw some of my friends from the time that I was there. We talked about Jarod and felt bad. But God has impressed me to move on. The new blog, I will be talking about my personal relationship with God and other issues in society regarding God. Hope that you will join me.
Mike Carlson
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Life's Little Up and Downs
Deviating from my rehab for this. Life has been difficult since rehab. The great thing is we are not drinking and we are very close to 5 months sober. Remembered this song and it felt like me today.
I would be lying if I didn't say we weren't struggling with the other aspects of life. Constant doctor trips, doctor bills, money and etc. But you know, we are going to get through it. With God's help, we are living one day at a time. Working on what is important today. God opens doors for you, you just have to be receptive enough to do his will. But all in all, it is important to understand that Life has it's little ups and downs.
Love the words in this song.
Life has it's little ups and downs
Like ponies on a merry-go-round
And no one grabs the brass ring everytime.
God Bless
Mike
I would be lying if I didn't say we weren't struggling with the other aspects of life. Constant doctor trips, doctor bills, money and etc. But you know, we are going to get through it. With God's help, we are living one day at a time. Working on what is important today. God opens doors for you, you just have to be receptive enough to do his will. But all in all, it is important to understand that Life has it's little ups and downs.
Love the words in this song.
Life has it's little ups and downs
Like ponies on a merry-go-round
And no one grabs the brass ring everytime.
God Bless
Mike
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer is said 4 to 5 times a day at my rehab. At first I was going through the motions saying the words. But as my crisis deepens while I am in rehab, I turn to God and the words of this prayer take on a whole new meaning for me.
This video is beautiful. At rehab and at AA meetings, we only say the first 3 verses of the prayer. I have come to learn to live by this prayer. God is just that close.
During this time at rehab, I was catching a cold and not feeling well and my wife was in the hospital in Houston out of my reach. She was sick and getting sicker. It's amazing how a small prayer like this one can truly give you some serenity.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Wow, I couldn't change a thing at this point. But God was gracious and gave me serenity at this point.
The courage to change the things that I can. At this point, I could only change myself. This is what God was wanting me to work on.
And the wisdom to know the difference. Only through constant contact with God can this happen. This means to spend time in prayer every day and asks for God's guidance for your life. Then just go out and live. That is what God would want you to do. God wants you to use the tools in life that he has given to you. Use them and make this world a better place.
This video is beautiful. At rehab and at AA meetings, we only say the first 3 verses of the prayer. I have come to learn to live by this prayer. God is just that close.
During this time at rehab, I was catching a cold and not feeling well and my wife was in the hospital in Houston out of my reach. She was sick and getting sicker. It's amazing how a small prayer like this one can truly give you some serenity.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Wow, I couldn't change a thing at this point. But God was gracious and gave me serenity at this point.
The courage to change the things that I can. At this point, I could only change myself. This is what God was wanting me to work on.
And the wisdom to know the difference. Only through constant contact with God can this happen. This means to spend time in prayer every day and asks for God's guidance for your life. Then just go out and live. That is what God would want you to do. God wants you to use the tools in life that he has given to you. Use them and make this world a better place.
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Ladies at Rehab
While we had a few younger ladies at rehab, for the most part my group was composed of women in their late 30's to early 50's. The story was pretty much the same for them all.
If you remember, my daughter was the main driving force behind me going to in patient rehab. Well, I couldn't forget her there. Two of the ladies in rehab had the same first name as my daughter, one of the ladies first name rhymed with my wife's name and one of the ladies had the same body motions as my daughter. Specifically, you could see her jaw tighten up when she really wanted to say something and she could point that finger just like my daughter. She was a consistent note taker. She really needed order in her life. My daughter is a note taker and really needs order. I was constantly reminded the first week of my daughter.
The ladies in rehab really didn't seem to have prescription drug problems like in the video but alcohol was a problem for them. The pressure of having a family and being the perfect person was just too much for them. It is too much for any one to do, but alcohol crept into their lives.
Resentments, fear and isolation get to alcoholics and it got to these ladies. These ladies are really great people that had just found their lives unmanageable. How are they doing now? I don't know for sure, but I think that for the most part they are staying sober. Learning to live life is another task altogether. I hope and pray for each of them as they meant a lot to my rehab. I got to see life though a female that is just as angry and scared as the men. Alcohol can kill you. Alcohol can ruin your life. Please help those that you see that are dealing with the issues of alcoholism and drug addiction.
If you remember, my daughter was the main driving force behind me going to in patient rehab. Well, I couldn't forget her there. Two of the ladies in rehab had the same first name as my daughter, one of the ladies first name rhymed with my wife's name and one of the ladies had the same body motions as my daughter. Specifically, you could see her jaw tighten up when she really wanted to say something and she could point that finger just like my daughter. She was a consistent note taker. She really needed order in her life. My daughter is a note taker and really needs order. I was constantly reminded the first week of my daughter.
The ladies in rehab really didn't seem to have prescription drug problems like in the video but alcohol was a problem for them. The pressure of having a family and being the perfect person was just too much for them. It is too much for any one to do, but alcohol crept into their lives.
Resentments, fear and isolation get to alcoholics and it got to these ladies. These ladies are really great people that had just found their lives unmanageable. How are they doing now? I don't know for sure, but I think that for the most part they are staying sober. Learning to live life is another task altogether. I hope and pray for each of them as they meant a lot to my rehab. I got to see life though a female that is just as angry and scared as the men. Alcohol can kill you. Alcohol can ruin your life. Please help those that you see that are dealing with the issues of alcoholism and drug addiction.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
One of my buds in rehab and the Everclear Song
I will never reveal names, but I made some real friends in rehab. One of my cabinmates was one of the smartest people there at rehab. But that intoxicating clear liquid did him in.
This guy is a computer whiz. Writes software. But somewhere along the line, he fell under the spell of Everclear. According to him, he drank a lot of it and did it everyday. Had some legal problems to go with it. Life had just become unmanageable for him.
I sat there more than a few times and said, "I'm not that bad". You see that is how an alcoholic thinks. Always trying to compare your addition to someone else's and finding out that you are not that bad. This kind of thinking can lead to more drinking. The fact of the matter is an alcoholic is an alcoholic and a drug addict is a drug addict. Each may have their own poison, but make no mistake each has a poison. This is one of the harder things to learn in rehab. To take total ownership of your own addiction. That is where recovery can start.
I haven't talked to my buddy in about a month and pray that he is still sober. He has so much to live for.
As one alcoholic in an aa meeting always says after someone asks if there are any pressing issues. He always says "Don't Drink". Please help anyone that is close to you that may have an addiction. Don't let them waste their life.
Mike
This guy is a computer whiz. Writes software. But somewhere along the line, he fell under the spell of Everclear. According to him, he drank a lot of it and did it everyday. Had some legal problems to go with it. Life had just become unmanageable for him.
I sat there more than a few times and said, "I'm not that bad". You see that is how an alcoholic thinks. Always trying to compare your addition to someone else's and finding out that you are not that bad. This kind of thinking can lead to more drinking. The fact of the matter is an alcoholic is an alcoholic and a drug addict is a drug addict. Each may have their own poison, but make no mistake each has a poison. This is one of the harder things to learn in rehab. To take total ownership of your own addiction. That is where recovery can start.
I haven't talked to my buddy in about a month and pray that he is still sober. He has so much to live for.
As one alcoholic in an aa meeting always says after someone asks if there are any pressing issues. He always says "Don't Drink". Please help anyone that is close to you that may have an addiction. Don't let them waste their life.
Mike
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Back to Rehab: If I Can't Leave Here I Just Might Stay
Well, I was pretty aggravated that no one was answering the phone when I called. Just couldn't understand what was going on. Picked this song for the one line, "If I can't leave here, I just might stay". That is the way that I was feeling about a week into rehab.
God was dealing with me on one hand, but my family had just decided to leave me here. I figured that I would get back at them. I revoked all the HIPPA permissions that I gave when I got to rehab. If they weren't going to talk to me, I would fix them. They would have no way to contact me. They could just leave a phone number. Like the song said, I just figured that if I couldn't leave the place that I might just as well stay and make the most of it. Resentments, I would learn are very harmful to everyone, especially alcoholics.
About an hour after I gave my counselor the revocation of my HIPPA privileges, he came to me with the news that my wife had been transported to the hospital in Houston and was very sick. That was one of the worst moments in rehab for me. I felt entirely helpless. I tore up the paper and gave back my HIPPA rights to my family. I cried for a while and then I prayed. God was the only way for me to get through this. And then like the serenity prayer for alcoholics, God did grant me serenity. This would help me get through rehab, cause most bad things were coming.
Mike
God was dealing with me on one hand, but my family had just decided to leave me here. I figured that I would get back at them. I revoked all the HIPPA permissions that I gave when I got to rehab. If they weren't going to talk to me, I would fix them. They would have no way to contact me. They could just leave a phone number. Like the song said, I just figured that if I couldn't leave the place that I might just as well stay and make the most of it. Resentments, I would learn are very harmful to everyone, especially alcoholics.
About an hour after I gave my counselor the revocation of my HIPPA privileges, he came to me with the news that my wife had been transported to the hospital in Houston and was very sick. That was one of the worst moments in rehab for me. I felt entirely helpless. I tore up the paper and gave back my HIPPA rights to my family. I cried for a while and then I prayed. God was the only way for me to get through this. And then like the serenity prayer for alcoholics, God did grant me serenity. This would help me get through rehab, cause most bad things were coming.
Mike
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
You've Gotta Have Heart
You know that I should know better by now. I just thought that my next post would be about my rehab. Following is the most exciting thing that has happened to me since rehab.
God really does work in mysterious ways. Just after rehab, I went straight to Houston to be with my wife as she had a mastectomy because of breast cancer. One morning standing in a line for breakfast, I was behind a young black man. He was just trying to order some eggs, but the lady behind the counter just couldn't understand him. She was oriental and had a strong accent. This young man, who I will call Rodney, exhibited great strength and just accepted what the lady made and told her God Bless You. He meant it. I just had to meet this guy and went into the dining room and invited myself to sit down with him and eat.
Found out he was an ex-Pro Football player and his girlfriend was in the hospital for some surgery that would prepare her for a heart transplant. We spent some time together, even playing dominos in his girlfriend's room. Her name is Tamera. I told him about my wife and he and I prayed together several times. We prayed for Carla and Tamera. As we left the hospital, I got their phone number and wanted to hear when she was going to get her heart.
When we left to go to Houston last week, I called and talked to Tamera. She was still waiting for her heart. Carla had her surgery last Thursday and went home from the hospital on Saturday. We are staying at our daughter's house in Houston. On Sunday, I got a text message from Tamera. Her heart was in Houston and she was heading for the hospital.
Today, we had to go back to the hospital and get a checkup on my wife's surgery. While we were at the hospital, we went by the cardiac transplant unit and met Tamera's dad. She got her heart last Sunday night. She is having a few complications but everything seems to be alright. God blessed me and let me meet this wonderful person.
Listen to the video, It starts out by saying that this game of baseball is only 1/2 skill, the other half heart. Well the same could be said for life itself. You gotta have heart and Tamera got her new one.
Life is exciting if you just listen. God will lead you if you let him.
Please take care of Tamera dear Lord and help her to heal.
God really does work in mysterious ways. Just after rehab, I went straight to Houston to be with my wife as she had a mastectomy because of breast cancer. One morning standing in a line for breakfast, I was behind a young black man. He was just trying to order some eggs, but the lady behind the counter just couldn't understand him. She was oriental and had a strong accent. This young man, who I will call Rodney, exhibited great strength and just accepted what the lady made and told her God Bless You. He meant it. I just had to meet this guy and went into the dining room and invited myself to sit down with him and eat.
Found out he was an ex-Pro Football player and his girlfriend was in the hospital for some surgery that would prepare her for a heart transplant. We spent some time together, even playing dominos in his girlfriend's room. Her name is Tamera. I told him about my wife and he and I prayed together several times. We prayed for Carla and Tamera. As we left the hospital, I got their phone number and wanted to hear when she was going to get her heart.
When we left to go to Houston last week, I called and talked to Tamera. She was still waiting for her heart. Carla had her surgery last Thursday and went home from the hospital on Saturday. We are staying at our daughter's house in Houston. On Sunday, I got a text message from Tamera. Her heart was in Houston and she was heading for the hospital.
Today, we had to go back to the hospital and get a checkup on my wife's surgery. While we were at the hospital, we went by the cardiac transplant unit and met Tamera's dad. She got her heart last Sunday night. She is having a few complications but everything seems to be alright. God blessed me and let me meet this wonderful person.
Listen to the video, It starts out by saying that this game of baseball is only 1/2 skill, the other half heart. Well the same could be said for life itself. You gotta have heart and Tamera got her new one.
Life is exciting if you just listen. God will lead you if you let him.
Please take care of Tamera dear Lord and help her to heal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)