Last night I was sitting in the cafeteria at Methodist Hospital in Houston eating a late supper. 3 ladies a few tables from me were having a good time laughing an going on. As I was leaving, I spoke to them and it turned into a long conversation. Something one of them told me led to this post about beer.
After some conversation, I finally told them about going to rehab and my wife being in the hospital at the same time. I told them about Jared. We talked and talked about alcoholism and one of them told me her husband was an alcoholic. I started talking about the 12 steps and she said they wouldn't work for him. His biggest problem was he like the "taste of beer". After laughing and then feeling bad about laughing, I told her all alcoholics love the taste of whatever they are addicted to. Beer is as good as any an addiction.
Another reason that I chose this was when I first talked to my mom when I got out of rehab we talked about beer. She said that my dad liked beer and he would sometimes carry two around at a time. But then she said, he couldn't have been an alcoholic because he only drank beer. She said you have to be hooked on the "hard stuff" to be an alcoholic. I laughed at that one too.
There is such a misconception in our society about alcoholism and how to identify it. Many people think that beer can't hurt you as far as alcoholism is concerned. They seem to forget that beer is made of alcohol.
I proceeded to tell the woman last night, that I felt like I knew what her husband's biggest problem was. She looked at me wanting to know.
I told these 3 ladies about the first 3 steps in the 12 step system. I told her that her husband has a problem with the higher power concept. Step number two tell us that we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can help us. Number 3 tells us about turning our live over to the Higher Power (Power of our Understanding) to relieve us of our dependence on alcohol.
This lady looked me straight in the eye and said that was his problem. Quite frankly, it's pretty easy to diagnose because that is the root of the problem. Alcoholics and addicts refuse to let anybody else control their actions. They have no chance at recovery if they can come to recognize a Higher Power. It's amazing how it works, they get to choose their own Higher Power as long as it's not addictive.
Last night was a blessing to me as it helped reinforce my connection with God. God was there with me.
If you are one of the ladies that were there with me, thanks for letting me share my story with you.
Mike
Showing posts with label jared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jared. Show all posts
Friday, March 11, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
New Kid in Rehab
News travels fast in a rehab group. The buzz had been going around for a few hours that some kid was on the way to Wimberley. He had an intervention on The Dr. Oz show in New York the day before. 15 minutes of fame. New Kid in Town by The Eagles. Read the lyrics as the song goes on. They fit Jared pretty well. "Great expectations everybody is watching you"
Jared got there with much fanfare. They stuck him in detox for a few days. He was cocky right off. That Dr. Oz thing had gone to his head at this time. I got to tell you, an intervention on TV doesn't get much attention from a bunch of drunks and addicts in rehab. Jared had a lot to learn.
I remember the first time that I saw him. He was walking towards the smoking area and walked past my cabin. Me and some of my roommates were sitting on the front porch. Jared walked up smoking a cigarette. You were only supposed to smoke in the smoking area, but at this time he didn't think any rules applied to him. He threw the butt down in our flower bed and we got in trouble for it. He heard about it very clear.
Jared started to hang out around me and the guy that I shared a room with. We were both older and he just gravitated towards us. We had the first of many long conversations with the troubled young man. He was scared of life. We will get to know him better.
Jared got there with much fanfare. They stuck him in detox for a few days. He was cocky right off. That Dr. Oz thing had gone to his head at this time. I got to tell you, an intervention on TV doesn't get much attention from a bunch of drunks and addicts in rehab. Jared had a lot to learn.
I remember the first time that I saw him. He was walking towards the smoking area and walked past my cabin. Me and some of my roommates were sitting on the front porch. Jared walked up smoking a cigarette. You were only supposed to smoke in the smoking area, but at this time he didn't think any rules applied to him. He threw the butt down in our flower bed and we got in trouble for it. He heard about it very clear.
Jared started to hang out around me and the guy that I shared a room with. We were both older and he just gravitated towards us. We had the first of many long conversations with the troubled young man. He was scared of life. We will get to know him better.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Don't Want to Waste My Life
Wow, while searching you tube for music to describe my next post, I ran headlong into the video featured here. Mike liking rap, never thought this old South Austin boy could come to that. Play the video while I finish this post.
Mighty powerful song. I was thinking about Jared a lot today and thinking what a waste. Too many people have trouble with that Higher Power thing. Find your Higher Power as you understand him/her. Just grab on and hold on. Three young men that I either met in rehab or just out of rehab have died in the last 30 days. Don't let it happen to you or one of your loved ones.
I believe that God gave this video to me to share with you. Please get help and don't waste your life. If you know someone in trouble, please get them help. Click on the links in the header.
We took my wife to the doctor today and she is doing great. God is giving us another chance and I promise that we won't waste it.
Tomorrow, I talk about the time right before my intervention.
Mighty powerful song. I was thinking about Jared a lot today and thinking what a waste. Too many people have trouble with that Higher Power thing. Find your Higher Power as you understand him/her. Just grab on and hold on. Three young men that I either met in rehab or just out of rehab have died in the last 30 days. Don't let it happen to you or one of your loved ones.
I believe that God gave this video to me to share with you. Please get help and don't waste your life. If you know someone in trouble, please get them help. Click on the links in the header.
We took my wife to the doctor today and she is doing great. God is giving us another chance and I promise that we won't waste it.
Tomorrow, I talk about the time right before my intervention.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Beginning of the End.
As alcoholics and addicts are confronted with life spinning out of control, its common for them to wish for things to be like they used to be...
The following song is a good example. Enjoy while you are reading the rest of the post.
What a great song and how true. Life was getting crazier and crazier and I really didn't know it. I was too busy trying to fix it. One week in late October 2010, my mom called me on the phone. After a little chit chat, she just blurted out, "Why don't you love me anymore". Well that pretty much finished me off. I just lost complete control over the phone, crying and hanging up on her. Not really sure what I said. I was just emotionally spent and it hit me hard and hurt.
Five minutes later, my brother called and wanted to know if I was ok and did he need to come out. Mom had called him crying. I said no, I am all right.
Five minutes after that, my baby sister called and wanted to know if I was alright. Wanting to come out and see me. I told her I was ok and she didn't need to come. Mom had called her very upset and worried about me.
About 15 minutes later, my sister that is only two years younger than me, shows up at my front door. All the hiding was done for. She came in and talked to me and then to my wife. My wife was curled up in bed and looking very ill. My sister started asking about alcohol and it was pretty obvious, not much to deny.
Well, my sister left, but the genie was out of the bottle. I knew then that something had to be done that alcohol had begun to dominate my life.
I met Jared's mother. She came to see him in rehab. She loved that boy with all her heart and you could tell that she was just scared. I watched them interact. Jared was very protective of his mom and worried about her a great deal. Jared and I had many conversations about our families and how drugs and alcohol had affected the family. I truly believed that Jared wanted to change. Jared's demons were just too much for him. He was having a real problem getting that Higher Power thing.
My next post will tell about the week leading up to my intervention. Crazy....
If you have a loved one that is having a hard time dealing with drugs and/or alcohol, click on one of the links at the top of the page. Get help for your loved ones as soon as possible.
Mike
The following song is a good example. Enjoy while you are reading the rest of the post.
What a great song and how true. Life was getting crazier and crazier and I really didn't know it. I was too busy trying to fix it. One week in late October 2010, my mom called me on the phone. After a little chit chat, she just blurted out, "Why don't you love me anymore". Well that pretty much finished me off. I just lost complete control over the phone, crying and hanging up on her. Not really sure what I said. I was just emotionally spent and it hit me hard and hurt.
Five minutes later, my brother called and wanted to know if I was ok and did he need to come out. Mom had called him crying. I said no, I am all right.
Five minutes after that, my baby sister called and wanted to know if I was alright. Wanting to come out and see me. I told her I was ok and she didn't need to come. Mom had called her very upset and worried about me.
About 15 minutes later, my sister that is only two years younger than me, shows up at my front door. All the hiding was done for. She came in and talked to me and then to my wife. My wife was curled up in bed and looking very ill. My sister started asking about alcohol and it was pretty obvious, not much to deny.
Well, my sister left, but the genie was out of the bottle. I knew then that something had to be done that alcohol had begun to dominate my life.
I met Jared's mother. She came to see him in rehab. She loved that boy with all her heart and you could tell that she was just scared. I watched them interact. Jared was very protective of his mom and worried about her a great deal. Jared and I had many conversations about our families and how drugs and alcohol had affected the family. I truly believed that Jared wanted to change. Jared's demons were just too much for him. He was having a real problem getting that Higher Power thing.
My next post will tell about the week leading up to my intervention. Crazy....
If you have a loved one that is having a hard time dealing with drugs and/or alcohol, click on one of the links at the top of the page. Get help for your loved ones as soon as possible.
Mike
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
More about Jared
Before I start telling my story, I want to tell you more about Jared. He was just one of 7 young men, late
teens and 20's that were very angry about life. Several of them had been in rehab numerous times. They were living very unhappy lives. Most of these young men grew up in single parent homes. The dad was generally gone. Many of these young boys rightly or wrongly blame their dads for their problems. To compensate for their anger and fear they had to give off the aura of a bad ass.
Well, us old guys saw right through that and called these young men on it. All of them, I mean all of them were really nice people when you got through the personality that they were trying to project.
Jared was different though. The other young guys saw right through Jared. Jared was an immature young man that was lost. I really felt sorry for him at times and at other times I felt like kicking his ass. Jared really hadn't done much since high school. He thought that he was going to enter the University of Texas or Texas State University this fall. He was excited about it.
Like I said earlier, he came to rehab straight from the Dr. Oz show. He arrived with much fanfare. At first he thought that he didn't have to obey the rules that everyone else did. After all the owner of the rehab and the director of the rehab were there with him a lot.
Reality soon set in and he had to do his chores like everyone else. Reality was rough on him. They aired the Dr. Oz segment with him while he and I were still in rehab. The rehab facility would not allow the patients to see the show. They did allow Jared to see it.
He came to me after viewing the segment and he was sick. You see he had an intervention on national television. He said that he looked stupid and out of it. Not quite the glamor that he had envisioned.
It really became difficult for him after that. He didn't want anyone outside to know that he was the guy in the Dr. Oz show. He was ashamed of how he acted on air in front of a national television audience.
I "graduated" from rehab about a week before Jared "graduated". We exchanged phone numbers and he promised to call me when he got out. I tried several times to call, but the number he gave me was changed.
I didn't know it at the time, but I got a good phone number for Jared the day that he died. I called the number and all I got was his voice mail.
I will go into this more later, but all of these young men had a problem with God or their Higher Power. They just didn't believe and it made it all that more hard for them.
While I was in rehab, another young man, Chance, died from an overdose. He had "graduated" from rehab 2 weeks before I got there. They said he was a star in group therapy and knew what to do.
I called my sponsor and told him about Jared. He said that another young man, Scott, has just died.
That's 3 lives in less than 60 days. Alcohol and addictions KILL. Lives are lost to car wrecks involving drugs and alcohol. People die from overdoses. Those just our of rehab are really some of the most likely to die. They had gotten clean and their systems no longer had any drugs in them. They get out and decide to shoot up with the same amount that they had been doing prior to rehab. It kills them.
You know these are lives wasted. They were just as many young women in rehab too. We are talking about a disease of the mind. Some just never get it.
Jared was a special young man. Very smart and likable. RIP now Jared.
Mike Carlson
I wanted to include this you tube video, The Pusher. Please don't listen if it offends you. All I can say if there is someone that God should damn, that would be The Pusher.
teens and 20's that were very angry about life. Several of them had been in rehab numerous times. They were living very unhappy lives. Most of these young men grew up in single parent homes. The dad was generally gone. Many of these young boys rightly or wrongly blame their dads for their problems. To compensate for their anger and fear they had to give off the aura of a bad ass.
Well, us old guys saw right through that and called these young men on it. All of them, I mean all of them were really nice people when you got through the personality that they were trying to project.
Jared was different though. The other young guys saw right through Jared. Jared was an immature young man that was lost. I really felt sorry for him at times and at other times I felt like kicking his ass. Jared really hadn't done much since high school. He thought that he was going to enter the University of Texas or Texas State University this fall. He was excited about it.
Like I said earlier, he came to rehab straight from the Dr. Oz show. He arrived with much fanfare. At first he thought that he didn't have to obey the rules that everyone else did. After all the owner of the rehab and the director of the rehab were there with him a lot.
Reality soon set in and he had to do his chores like everyone else. Reality was rough on him. They aired the Dr. Oz segment with him while he and I were still in rehab. The rehab facility would not allow the patients to see the show. They did allow Jared to see it.
He came to me after viewing the segment and he was sick. You see he had an intervention on national television. He said that he looked stupid and out of it. Not quite the glamor that he had envisioned.
It really became difficult for him after that. He didn't want anyone outside to know that he was the guy in the Dr. Oz show. He was ashamed of how he acted on air in front of a national television audience.
I "graduated" from rehab about a week before Jared "graduated". We exchanged phone numbers and he promised to call me when he got out. I tried several times to call, but the number he gave me was changed.
I didn't know it at the time, but I got a good phone number for Jared the day that he died. I called the number and all I got was his voice mail.
I will go into this more later, but all of these young men had a problem with God or their Higher Power. They just didn't believe and it made it all that more hard for them.
While I was in rehab, another young man, Chance, died from an overdose. He had "graduated" from rehab 2 weeks before I got there. They said he was a star in group therapy and knew what to do.
I called my sponsor and told him about Jared. He said that another young man, Scott, has just died.
That's 3 lives in less than 60 days. Alcohol and addictions KILL. Lives are lost to car wrecks involving drugs and alcohol. People die from overdoses. Those just our of rehab are really some of the most likely to die. They had gotten clean and their systems no longer had any drugs in them. They get out and decide to shoot up with the same amount that they had been doing prior to rehab. It kills them.
You know these are lives wasted. They were just as many young women in rehab too. We are talking about a disease of the mind. Some just never get it.
Jared was a special young man. Very smart and likable. RIP now Jared.
Mike Carlson
I wanted to include this you tube video, The Pusher. Please don't listen if it offends you. All I can say if there is someone that God should damn, that would be The Pusher.
Why Jared's Story
I started a spiritual journey a little over 90 days ago. I had an intervention and wound up in rehab for alcohol. Wow, I said it for the world to see. But you may want to know why I am calling this Jared's story.
About a week into rehab, Jared showed up. He had left the Dr. Oz show the day before and then sent from New York to Wimberley, Texas for rehab. You see, Jared was a heroin addict. He was 20 years old. Great looking kid. Came into rehab a little bit cocky because he had been on national television the day before. Jared would soon learn that he was with a bunch of alcoholics and addicts and television fame didn't mean anything to them.
I was in a cabin with two other guys and we were the oldest guys there. Jared started to hang around us. We spent hours just sitting around and talking. Jared was an angry young man. He came from a upper middle class family, but he was angry. I would suppose that Jared might be bi-polar, because some days he was on top of the world and some days he was angry and mad at the world.
We grew very fond of this young man. We thought that he had a chance to make it. Last week, Jared died of an overdose. Alcohol and addiction to drugs, legal and illegal, kills. I named this blog, Jared's story so that I never forget that or forget Jared.
So here I am on this spiritual journey and I believe that God wants me to share it with you. I want you to understand not to feel sorry for me, as I have found God again. I really don't know where this journey is going to take me, it's just important that I take this step. All I can say for sure, to take life one day at a time and try to stay in constant contact with God. Your welcome to take this journey with me and to comment along the way.
Mike Carlson
About a week into rehab, Jared showed up. He had left the Dr. Oz show the day before and then sent from New York to Wimberley, Texas for rehab. You see, Jared was a heroin addict. He was 20 years old. Great looking kid. Came into rehab a little bit cocky because he had been on national television the day before. Jared would soon learn that he was with a bunch of alcoholics and addicts and television fame didn't mean anything to them.
I was in a cabin with two other guys and we were the oldest guys there. Jared started to hang around us. We spent hours just sitting around and talking. Jared was an angry young man. He came from a upper middle class family, but he was angry. I would suppose that Jared might be bi-polar, because some days he was on top of the world and some days he was angry and mad at the world.
We grew very fond of this young man. We thought that he had a chance to make it. Last week, Jared died of an overdose. Alcohol and addiction to drugs, legal and illegal, kills. I named this blog, Jared's story so that I never forget that or forget Jared.
So here I am on this spiritual journey and I believe that God wants me to share it with you. I want you to understand not to feel sorry for me, as I have found God again. I really don't know where this journey is going to take me, it's just important that I take this step. All I can say for sure, to take life one day at a time and try to stay in constant contact with God. Your welcome to take this journey with me and to comment along the way.
Mike Carlson
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