While we had a few younger ladies at rehab, for the most part my group was composed of women in their late 30's to early 50's. The story was pretty much the same for them all.
If you remember, my daughter was the main driving force behind me going to in patient rehab. Well, I couldn't forget her there. Two of the ladies in rehab had the same first name as my daughter, one of the ladies first name rhymed with my wife's name and one of the ladies had the same body motions as my daughter. Specifically, you could see her jaw tighten up when she really wanted to say something and she could point that finger just like my daughter. She was a consistent note taker. She really needed order in her life. My daughter is a note taker and really needs order. I was constantly reminded the first week of my daughter.
The ladies in rehab really didn't seem to have prescription drug problems like in the video but alcohol was a problem for them. The pressure of having a family and being the perfect person was just too much for them. It is too much for any one to do, but alcohol crept into their lives.
Resentments, fear and isolation get to alcoholics and it got to these ladies. These ladies are really great people that had just found their lives unmanageable. How are they doing now? I don't know for sure, but I think that for the most part they are staying sober. Learning to live life is another task altogether. I hope and pray for each of them as they meant a lot to my rehab. I got to see life though a female that is just as angry and scared as the men. Alcohol can kill you. Alcohol can ruin your life. Please help those that you see that are dealing with the issues of alcoholism and drug addiction.
Showing posts with label rehab. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rehab. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
One of my buds in rehab and the Everclear Song
I will never reveal names, but I made some real friends in rehab. One of my cabinmates was one of the smartest people there at rehab. But that intoxicating clear liquid did him in.
This guy is a computer whiz. Writes software. But somewhere along the line, he fell under the spell of Everclear. According to him, he drank a lot of it and did it everyday. Had some legal problems to go with it. Life had just become unmanageable for him.
I sat there more than a few times and said, "I'm not that bad". You see that is how an alcoholic thinks. Always trying to compare your addition to someone else's and finding out that you are not that bad. This kind of thinking can lead to more drinking. The fact of the matter is an alcoholic is an alcoholic and a drug addict is a drug addict. Each may have their own poison, but make no mistake each has a poison. This is one of the harder things to learn in rehab. To take total ownership of your own addiction. That is where recovery can start.
I haven't talked to my buddy in about a month and pray that he is still sober. He has so much to live for.
As one alcoholic in an aa meeting always says after someone asks if there are any pressing issues. He always says "Don't Drink". Please help anyone that is close to you that may have an addiction. Don't let them waste their life.
Mike
This guy is a computer whiz. Writes software. But somewhere along the line, he fell under the spell of Everclear. According to him, he drank a lot of it and did it everyday. Had some legal problems to go with it. Life had just become unmanageable for him.
I sat there more than a few times and said, "I'm not that bad". You see that is how an alcoholic thinks. Always trying to compare your addition to someone else's and finding out that you are not that bad. This kind of thinking can lead to more drinking. The fact of the matter is an alcoholic is an alcoholic and a drug addict is a drug addict. Each may have their own poison, but make no mistake each has a poison. This is one of the harder things to learn in rehab. To take total ownership of your own addiction. That is where recovery can start.
I haven't talked to my buddy in about a month and pray that he is still sober. He has so much to live for.
As one alcoholic in an aa meeting always says after someone asks if there are any pressing issues. He always says "Don't Drink". Please help anyone that is close to you that may have an addiction. Don't let them waste their life.
Mike
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Ain't No Need in Ya'll Treating Me That Way
My first Friday in rehab and things are starting to get tough for me personally. I picked this song for that one line in the song, "Ain't no need in ya'll treating me this way".
Carla was in rehab in Houston or so I thought. I got one letter from her asking me to write and I have written several letters and not heard from her. The coming Sunday, I could and did get a pass to leave the rehab with family for 4 hours.
All of a sudden, my family that sent me to rehab starting acting like I had some dread disease. They informed me that they would not take me out of rehab, but would come to see me. What was that about. I would learn in the next few days. As a matter of fact in the next few days, my family even quit answering the phone when I would call. I was getting pretty upset because I didn't know why they were treating me this way. I can tell you this, when you are stashed away in rehab with a bunch of drunks and addicts, can't get a hold of your wife and your family quits talking to you. You get pretty scared and lonesome.
The good thing was that I was walking closer to God and he had given me serenity. Even in a close walk with God, life still happens and it was happening all around me.
Mike
Carla was in rehab in Houston or so I thought. I got one letter from her asking me to write and I have written several letters and not heard from her. The coming Sunday, I could and did get a pass to leave the rehab with family for 4 hours.
All of a sudden, my family that sent me to rehab starting acting like I had some dread disease. They informed me that they would not take me out of rehab, but would come to see me. What was that about. I would learn in the next few days. As a matter of fact in the next few days, my family even quit answering the phone when I would call. I was getting pretty upset because I didn't know why they were treating me this way. I can tell you this, when you are stashed away in rehab with a bunch of drunks and addicts, can't get a hold of your wife and your family quits talking to you. You get pretty scared and lonesome.
The good thing was that I was walking closer to God and he had given me serenity. Even in a close walk with God, life still happens and it was happening all around me.
Mike
Sunday, February 27, 2011
What do we talk about in group?
I guess that the most asked question I get about both rehab and AA meetings. The truth is we talk about life. Watch and listen to the video.
Life is not unlike the story of this video. Getting drunk and worried about the future. Sometimes it's jail, sometimes it getting sent to rehab. Lots of heartache and divorce. In these meetings, we are extremely honest about our situations in life. It's not just to tell a story for it's shock value and believe me, some stories shocked the hell out of me. No, by telling the story, you are able to get it out of your system and tell someone and not be judged by what you did. That's the most important part of group and an AA meeting. The ability to disclose those things in your life that alcohol or drugs led you to do and get rid of the shame associated with your actions. This is where the healing starts. You wouldn't think you would find honesty in a bunch of drunks and drug addicts, because we had never been honest about our problem. But in these meetings, you find total honesty and it feels really good.
Life is not unlike the story of this video. Getting drunk and worried about the future. Sometimes it's jail, sometimes it getting sent to rehab. Lots of heartache and divorce. In these meetings, we are extremely honest about our situations in life. It's not just to tell a story for it's shock value and believe me, some stories shocked the hell out of me. No, by telling the story, you are able to get it out of your system and tell someone and not be judged by what you did. That's the most important part of group and an AA meeting. The ability to disclose those things in your life that alcohol or drugs led you to do and get rid of the shame associated with your actions. This is where the healing starts. You wouldn't think you would find honesty in a bunch of drunks and drug addicts, because we had never been honest about our problem. But in these meetings, you find total honesty and it feels really good.
Mondays at Rehab
Well if you knew it was Monday, then you knew this song would come, but it's really appropriate.
Monday at Camp Lost in the Ozone, is really the hardest day. On Sunday night you leave the rehab to attend an AA meeting either in Austin, San Marcos or Wimberley. Sunday nights they usually went the further-est for some reason and you usually got back to rehab at 9:30 pm and then had wrap up. So you were up late.
They hit it hard on Monday mornings and keep you going at a brisk pace all day. You are really pretty tired by the AA meeting that night and again on Mondays they left rehab for a meeting elsewhere. This was my first Monday in rehab and I was having a hard time keeping up with the pace of the day.
Funny thing about when they took us away from rehab. The RA's would never tell us where we were going until the bus had left the property. They didn't want the patients to have time to call a drug dealer and meet up with us at the destination. Kind of funny, because we were chaperoned pretty well at all times, don't know when you could really get a drug deal done. The other thing that was funny was we could tell where we were going by the time that we left the property. If we left at 7, we were going to Austin, if we left at 7:15 we were going to San Marcos and if we left at 7:30 we were just going to Wimberley. It was a game and I guess we enjoyed the laugh.
Another funny thing about leaving and going to outside AA meetings was that I always got shotgun when a certain new RA was driving. They said that they were just taking care of the old guy and let him ride up front. The truth was that this RA scared the hell out of us a few times and nobody wanted to sit upfront.
Another sidenote, the boys usually went in one van and the girls in another van. Didn't want the boys and girls mixing up too much. Well towards the end of my time in rehab, we had a lot more boys than girls, so they usually picked out the 3 or 4 oldest guys and let them ride with the girls.
Oh well, rehab is rehab and you don't ask too many questions because the answer to those questions is usually, "just because".
Monday at Camp Lost in the Ozone, is really the hardest day. On Sunday night you leave the rehab to attend an AA meeting either in Austin, San Marcos or Wimberley. Sunday nights they usually went the further-est for some reason and you usually got back to rehab at 9:30 pm and then had wrap up. So you were up late.
They hit it hard on Monday mornings and keep you going at a brisk pace all day. You are really pretty tired by the AA meeting that night and again on Mondays they left rehab for a meeting elsewhere. This was my first Monday in rehab and I was having a hard time keeping up with the pace of the day.
Funny thing about when they took us away from rehab. The RA's would never tell us where we were going until the bus had left the property. They didn't want the patients to have time to call a drug dealer and meet up with us at the destination. Kind of funny, because we were chaperoned pretty well at all times, don't know when you could really get a drug deal done. The other thing that was funny was we could tell where we were going by the time that we left the property. If we left at 7, we were going to Austin, if we left at 7:15 we were going to San Marcos and if we left at 7:30 we were just going to Wimberley. It was a game and I guess we enjoyed the laugh.
Another funny thing about leaving and going to outside AA meetings was that I always got shotgun when a certain new RA was driving. They said that they were just taking care of the old guy and let him ride up front. The truth was that this RA scared the hell out of us a few times and nobody wanted to sit upfront.
Another sidenote, the boys usually went in one van and the girls in another van. Didn't want the boys and girls mixing up too much. Well towards the end of my time in rehab, we had a lot more boys than girls, so they usually picked out the 3 or 4 oldest guys and let them ride with the girls.
Oh well, rehab is rehab and you don't ask too many questions because the answer to those questions is usually, "just because".
Friday, February 25, 2011
Sunday Morning Coming Down.
My first Sunday in rehab. Separated from my wife and family and put out here with a bunch of alcoholics and addicts. The Saturday Family group session was tough and I was quite sure that I couldn't handle this.
Well the song fit me this morning. They call it a dry drunk. You haven't had anything to drink but was experiencing the same feelings as being drunk. Here I was this fine Sunday morning. Running out of clean clothes, not shaving, wondering what in the hell I am doing here and feeling mighty lonesome. I was surrounded by people that I didn't know telling horror stories about their lives that I really didn't want to hear. I had been telling everyone I was an alcoholic in group for 3 days and I didn't believe it. I felt terrible. I was clinging to memories of just a week ago, trying to forget where I was at. Felt like I was in the middle of a nightmare and just wanted to wake up.
Sunday's are pretty relaxed at rehab. Today family members can take the patients out for a 4 hour time period away from the rehab. I didn't qualify to leave today because it was my first Sunday. Little did I know at that time that I would never leave on a family day pass. Rough time with family members is on the horizon. They just kind of left me there. There would be a reason but I wouldn't find out until much later.
This Sunday morning I was feeling bad. Hung over (dry drunk) and feeling lonesome. I had started on the roller coaster emotions of rehab and things would get much worse before they started to get better.
Mike
Well the song fit me this morning. They call it a dry drunk. You haven't had anything to drink but was experiencing the same feelings as being drunk. Here I was this fine Sunday morning. Running out of clean clothes, not shaving, wondering what in the hell I am doing here and feeling mighty lonesome. I was surrounded by people that I didn't know telling horror stories about their lives that I really didn't want to hear. I had been telling everyone I was an alcoholic in group for 3 days and I didn't believe it. I felt terrible. I was clinging to memories of just a week ago, trying to forget where I was at. Felt like I was in the middle of a nightmare and just wanted to wake up.
Sunday's are pretty relaxed at rehab. Today family members can take the patients out for a 4 hour time period away from the rehab. I didn't qualify to leave today because it was my first Sunday. Little did I know at that time that I would never leave on a family day pass. Rough time with family members is on the horizon. They just kind of left me there. There would be a reason but I wouldn't find out until much later.
This Sunday morning I was feeling bad. Hung over (dry drunk) and feeling lonesome. I had started on the roller coaster emotions of rehab and things would get much worse before they started to get better.
Mike
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Family Group
Need to be serious here. Family group is one of the most guy wrenching sessions that I sat through. It was on Saturday afternoons. Picked the video, "Games People Play" by Joe South. Listen as I describe the Family Group Session.
One of the last things that you do in treatment is write your family letter. This is a letter to the family members of the patient. It can be written to a mother, father, sister, brother, spouse or the patient's children. Those that the patient writes a letter to, write their own letters. These letters are then read in group, with the patient and his/her family sitting in the middle of the room with the rest of the familes and patients around them. You hear lots of resentments, anger, tears, and love in these letters. It is the most gut wrenching honesty that I have ever been part of. It scared the hell out of me. This is serious business and you can see first hand how alcohol and drugs have torn apart families and caused much much grief. It was painful to watch. I saw tough young men reduced to whimpering and crying like babies. These were the guys that thought they were bullet proof. I saw husbands and wives face each other and just lay open the wounds and raw feelings that this addiction has caused in the family. I can't really describe all the feelings that went into this.
It was in one of these meeting that I saw Jared and his mom talk to each other. What was said is not important, but what was important to me was the pure love that existed between this mother and her son. They laid it out, but held onto each other. It was touching.. But this is a baffling disease, less than 2 months later Jared is dead. Sometimes even love can't save a soul. This had hit me very hard.
Listen the the song, Oh, the game people play now, every night and every day, never saying what we mean, never meaning what we say. So true. The purpose of rehab and AA is to help those in addiction to resolve resentments and fears before they claim a life.
I encourage you if you have a loved one to try and get them help. Links at the top of the page will take you to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. You don't know how long your loved one can last without help. If you feel like you need help again clink on one of the links or email me @mcarlson12@austin.rr.com. I will talk to you and help in any way that I can.
God Bless,
Mike
One of the last things that you do in treatment is write your family letter. This is a letter to the family members of the patient. It can be written to a mother, father, sister, brother, spouse or the patient's children. Those that the patient writes a letter to, write their own letters. These letters are then read in group, with the patient and his/her family sitting in the middle of the room with the rest of the familes and patients around them. You hear lots of resentments, anger, tears, and love in these letters. It is the most gut wrenching honesty that I have ever been part of. It scared the hell out of me. This is serious business and you can see first hand how alcohol and drugs have torn apart families and caused much much grief. It was painful to watch. I saw tough young men reduced to whimpering and crying like babies. These were the guys that thought they were bullet proof. I saw husbands and wives face each other and just lay open the wounds and raw feelings that this addiction has caused in the family. I can't really describe all the feelings that went into this.
It was in one of these meeting that I saw Jared and his mom talk to each other. What was said is not important, but what was important to me was the pure love that existed between this mother and her son. They laid it out, but held onto each other. It was touching.. But this is a baffling disease, less than 2 months later Jared is dead. Sometimes even love can't save a soul. This had hit me very hard.
Listen the the song, Oh, the game people play now, every night and every day, never saying what we mean, never meaning what we say. So true. The purpose of rehab and AA is to help those in addiction to resolve resentments and fears before they claim a life.
I encourage you if you have a loved one to try and get them help. Links at the top of the page will take you to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. You don't know how long your loved one can last without help. If you feel like you need help again clink on one of the links or email me @mcarlson12@austin.rr.com. I will talk to you and help in any way that I can.
God Bless,
Mike
Monday, February 21, 2011
A Man of Constant Sorrow
Well that's the theme for the first few days in rehab. Out here in the country with a bunch of drunks and drug addicts.. Who would have thought..
Wow, here I am. My first afternoon in rehab. Stayed in the detox area for most of the afternoon. Slept.
Got up in time for supper and my first AA meeting. One thing about this place, the food was very good. My first AA meeting was at 7 that night. First time that I uttered, I'm Mike and I'm an Alcoholic. Didn't believe it that time but everybody else was saying it so go along to get along.
At 10 p.m. go to take my evening meds. Told them I was having a hard time sleeping. First night took their brand of vitamin which included melatonin, took a visteral for anxiety, and a trazadone for sleep. And sleep I did. Got up the next morning for breakfast.
Spent most of breakfast face down in my migas. Could not wake up. Went to take morning meds after breakfast and the RA put me back to bed. I could hardly stand up. I had been sober for several days at this time, but I sure looked drunk at that time. Slept till 10 a.m. Didn't do much before lunch. Friday afternoon was recreational time and most everybody went on the bus and got to go bowling. They have this 24 hour rule. They left for bowling at 3 and I had gotten there the day before at 3:30. Didn't qualify to go. Got to stay back with those stumbling around in detox. Oh well, if the song fits wear it.
Wow, here I am. My first afternoon in rehab. Stayed in the detox area for most of the afternoon. Slept.
Got up in time for supper and my first AA meeting. One thing about this place, the food was very good. My first AA meeting was at 7 that night. First time that I uttered, I'm Mike and I'm an Alcoholic. Didn't believe it that time but everybody else was saying it so go along to get along.
At 10 p.m. go to take my evening meds. Told them I was having a hard time sleeping. First night took their brand of vitamin which included melatonin, took a visteral for anxiety, and a trazadone for sleep. And sleep I did. Got up the next morning for breakfast.
Spent most of breakfast face down in my migas. Could not wake up. Went to take morning meds after breakfast and the RA put me back to bed. I could hardly stand up. I had been sober for several days at this time, but I sure looked drunk at that time. Slept till 10 a.m. Didn't do much before lunch. Friday afternoon was recreational time and most everybody went on the bus and got to go bowling. They have this 24 hour rule. They left for bowling at 3 and I had gotten there the day before at 3:30. Didn't qualify to go. Got to stay back with those stumbling around in detox. Oh well, if the song fits wear it.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Wimberley in 30 days or less
Well, the next song is very appropriate.
Thursday afternoon on the 12th of November, 2010, my daughter and my brother took me from Shoal Creek Hospital to The Right Step Residential Rehab Center in Wimberley, Texas. They did take me by the see my wife in St. David's Hospital for about 30 minutes before we left for Wimberley. We got there around 3 p.m in the afternoon. Way out in the country, the center is an old bread and breakfast. Real nice setting.
It took about an hour for the administrator to interview me and tell me about rehab. They told me that I was going to be there for 30 days.
My daughter and my brother drove off about 4 and left me there. Because there was no room at the time in the residential area, I was put into the detox area for the afternoon. My roommate that afternoon was coming down off of opiates. He was wild eyed, I thought I was back in Shoal Creek.
If you are going to be in rehab I think this is a good one. Nice people taking care of you. But there you are out in the middle of nowhere and no way to get to anybody. The only people that knew where I was, was my family. Other folks just wondered what happened to me.
You have access to 2 phones, but if you don't know the phone number of someone, well that's just your bad luck. And there is usually a line to use the phones. This was going to take some adjustment.
But in the end, I was lucky cause they let me go after 28 days.
Life in rehab is next.
Thursday afternoon on the 12th of November, 2010, my daughter and my brother took me from Shoal Creek Hospital to The Right Step Residential Rehab Center in Wimberley, Texas. They did take me by the see my wife in St. David's Hospital for about 30 minutes before we left for Wimberley. We got there around 3 p.m in the afternoon. Way out in the country, the center is an old bread and breakfast. Real nice setting.
It took about an hour for the administrator to interview me and tell me about rehab. They told me that I was going to be there for 30 days.
My daughter and my brother drove off about 4 and left me there. Because there was no room at the time in the residential area, I was put into the detox area for the afternoon. My roommate that afternoon was coming down off of opiates. He was wild eyed, I thought I was back in Shoal Creek.
If you are going to be in rehab I think this is a good one. Nice people taking care of you. But there you are out in the middle of nowhere and no way to get to anybody. The only people that knew where I was, was my family. Other folks just wondered what happened to me.
You have access to 2 phones, but if you don't know the phone number of someone, well that's just your bad luck. And there is usually a line to use the phones. This was going to take some adjustment.
But in the end, I was lucky cause they let me go after 28 days.
Life in rehab is next.
Going to Rehab, I said No.
That Wednesday night in Shoal Creek my daughter came to tell me that my wife was going to inpatient rehab in Houston and she was taking her there later in the week when she got out of the hospital. My daughter then told me the "good news" that I was getting to take a vacation in Wimberley. For the next 30 days, I was going to inpatient rehab. My first reaction was.
My daughter can be pretty persuasive. We had one of the best talks that we have ever had. I will never forget it. After much talk, I finally agreed to do two weeks in rehab. She said that she would take that. I want you to remember that two week agreement because it comes up again soon. Well anyway, I agree to go to rehab. But I sure as hell didn't want to.
Mike
My daughter can be pretty persuasive. We had one of the best talks that we have ever had. I will never forget it. After much talk, I finally agreed to do two weeks in rehab. She said that she would take that. I want you to remember that two week agreement because it comes up again soon. Well anyway, I agree to go to rehab. But I sure as hell didn't want to.
Mike
Shoal Creek... A Pain in the A**
Shoal Creek for Detox. Wow, what a place.
Now that song tells it all. My brother and my daughter admitted me to Shoal Creek for detox. Now remember that I hadn't had a drink in two days at this point. It was about 9:30 p.m. when we got there. The main thing that I remember is that they kept asking me what day it was. Hell, I had been writing the date on every piece of paper that they had put before me, but they kept on asking. They finally got me though, because one of the last times they asked me, it was after midnight, so it was the next day. I had kept saying 11-9-2010, but it was finally 11-10-2010.
Well, my brother and daughter finally left me there at the hospital. It was about 2 in the morning. At that time, I got the first shot of vitamins. I had to take the shot in the butt. It felt like they were sticking me with pure fire. That son of a gun hurt.
More about Shoal Creek. I was in a ward with about 15 other people. Most of them were really coming off some hard drugs. One guy was laying in the hallway when we got there. He was later throwing chairs all around. Turns out he was coming off of oxicotton. Real heavy doses.
The others were walking around in pretty much of a daze. Bruised and battered for the most part. I was getting my first taste of what it was like being around a real drug addict.
Played some dominoes with some of them. Kind of crazy playing dominoes with people that are spaced out. Never know what is coming next.
The last night that I was there we were playing dominoes real late. I have forgotten to tell you that the common area was open 24 hours a day. You could make coffee, but after noon all you could make was decaf. Ok. Well that night, we decided to make some more coffee and it was after 11 at night. The night attendent said that we couldn't make decaff after 10 at night. I asked why and he just said because.
The next 30 days I would hear that a lot. It didn't have to make sense, it was just because.
I got to Shoal Creek late on a Tuesday, on Wednesday night much to my protests, I find out that I was going to inpatient rehab the next day out in Wimberley, Texas. God's country. Like Rodney Atkins sings, If you're going through hell, keep on going.
Mike
Now that song tells it all. My brother and my daughter admitted me to Shoal Creek for detox. Now remember that I hadn't had a drink in two days at this point. It was about 9:30 p.m. when we got there. The main thing that I remember is that they kept asking me what day it was. Hell, I had been writing the date on every piece of paper that they had put before me, but they kept on asking. They finally got me though, because one of the last times they asked me, it was after midnight, so it was the next day. I had kept saying 11-9-2010, but it was finally 11-10-2010.
Well, my brother and daughter finally left me there at the hospital. It was about 2 in the morning. At that time, I got the first shot of vitamins. I had to take the shot in the butt. It felt like they were sticking me with pure fire. That son of a gun hurt.
More about Shoal Creek. I was in a ward with about 15 other people. Most of them were really coming off some hard drugs. One guy was laying in the hallway when we got there. He was later throwing chairs all around. Turns out he was coming off of oxicotton. Real heavy doses.
The others were walking around in pretty much of a daze. Bruised and battered for the most part. I was getting my first taste of what it was like being around a real drug addict.
Played some dominoes with some of them. Kind of crazy playing dominoes with people that are spaced out. Never know what is coming next.
The last night that I was there we were playing dominoes real late. I have forgotten to tell you that the common area was open 24 hours a day. You could make coffee, but after noon all you could make was decaf. Ok. Well that night, we decided to make some more coffee and it was after 11 at night. The night attendent said that we couldn't make decaff after 10 at night. I asked why and he just said because.
The next 30 days I would hear that a lot. It didn't have to make sense, it was just because.
I got to Shoal Creek late on a Tuesday, on Wednesday night much to my protests, I find out that I was going to inpatient rehab the next day out in Wimberley, Texas. God's country. Like Rodney Atkins sings, If you're going through hell, keep on going.
Mike
Monday, February 14, 2011
Don't Want to Waste My Life
Wow, while searching you tube for music to describe my next post, I ran headlong into the video featured here. Mike liking rap, never thought this old South Austin boy could come to that. Play the video while I finish this post.
Mighty powerful song. I was thinking about Jared a lot today and thinking what a waste. Too many people have trouble with that Higher Power thing. Find your Higher Power as you understand him/her. Just grab on and hold on. Three young men that I either met in rehab or just out of rehab have died in the last 30 days. Don't let it happen to you or one of your loved ones.
I believe that God gave this video to me to share with you. Please get help and don't waste your life. If you know someone in trouble, please get them help. Click on the links in the header.
We took my wife to the doctor today and she is doing great. God is giving us another chance and I promise that we won't waste it.
Tomorrow, I talk about the time right before my intervention.
Mighty powerful song. I was thinking about Jared a lot today and thinking what a waste. Too many people have trouble with that Higher Power thing. Find your Higher Power as you understand him/her. Just grab on and hold on. Three young men that I either met in rehab or just out of rehab have died in the last 30 days. Don't let it happen to you or one of your loved ones.
I believe that God gave this video to me to share with you. Please get help and don't waste your life. If you know someone in trouble, please get them help. Click on the links in the header.
We took my wife to the doctor today and she is doing great. God is giving us another chance and I promise that we won't waste it.
Tomorrow, I talk about the time right before my intervention.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
More about Jared
Before I start telling my story, I want to tell you more about Jared. He was just one of 7 young men, late
teens and 20's that were very angry about life. Several of them had been in rehab numerous times. They were living very unhappy lives. Most of these young men grew up in single parent homes. The dad was generally gone. Many of these young boys rightly or wrongly blame their dads for their problems. To compensate for their anger and fear they had to give off the aura of a bad ass.
Well, us old guys saw right through that and called these young men on it. All of them, I mean all of them were really nice people when you got through the personality that they were trying to project.
Jared was different though. The other young guys saw right through Jared. Jared was an immature young man that was lost. I really felt sorry for him at times and at other times I felt like kicking his ass. Jared really hadn't done much since high school. He thought that he was going to enter the University of Texas or Texas State University this fall. He was excited about it.
Like I said earlier, he came to rehab straight from the Dr. Oz show. He arrived with much fanfare. At first he thought that he didn't have to obey the rules that everyone else did. After all the owner of the rehab and the director of the rehab were there with him a lot.
Reality soon set in and he had to do his chores like everyone else. Reality was rough on him. They aired the Dr. Oz segment with him while he and I were still in rehab. The rehab facility would not allow the patients to see the show. They did allow Jared to see it.
He came to me after viewing the segment and he was sick. You see he had an intervention on national television. He said that he looked stupid and out of it. Not quite the glamor that he had envisioned.
It really became difficult for him after that. He didn't want anyone outside to know that he was the guy in the Dr. Oz show. He was ashamed of how he acted on air in front of a national television audience.
I "graduated" from rehab about a week before Jared "graduated". We exchanged phone numbers and he promised to call me when he got out. I tried several times to call, but the number he gave me was changed.
I didn't know it at the time, but I got a good phone number for Jared the day that he died. I called the number and all I got was his voice mail.
I will go into this more later, but all of these young men had a problem with God or their Higher Power. They just didn't believe and it made it all that more hard for them.
While I was in rehab, another young man, Chance, died from an overdose. He had "graduated" from rehab 2 weeks before I got there. They said he was a star in group therapy and knew what to do.
I called my sponsor and told him about Jared. He said that another young man, Scott, has just died.
That's 3 lives in less than 60 days. Alcohol and addictions KILL. Lives are lost to car wrecks involving drugs and alcohol. People die from overdoses. Those just our of rehab are really some of the most likely to die. They had gotten clean and their systems no longer had any drugs in them. They get out and decide to shoot up with the same amount that they had been doing prior to rehab. It kills them.
You know these are lives wasted. They were just as many young women in rehab too. We are talking about a disease of the mind. Some just never get it.
Jared was a special young man. Very smart and likable. RIP now Jared.
Mike Carlson
I wanted to include this you tube video, The Pusher. Please don't listen if it offends you. All I can say if there is someone that God should damn, that would be The Pusher.
teens and 20's that were very angry about life. Several of them had been in rehab numerous times. They were living very unhappy lives. Most of these young men grew up in single parent homes. The dad was generally gone. Many of these young boys rightly or wrongly blame their dads for their problems. To compensate for their anger and fear they had to give off the aura of a bad ass.
Well, us old guys saw right through that and called these young men on it. All of them, I mean all of them were really nice people when you got through the personality that they were trying to project.
Jared was different though. The other young guys saw right through Jared. Jared was an immature young man that was lost. I really felt sorry for him at times and at other times I felt like kicking his ass. Jared really hadn't done much since high school. He thought that he was going to enter the University of Texas or Texas State University this fall. He was excited about it.
Like I said earlier, he came to rehab straight from the Dr. Oz show. He arrived with much fanfare. At first he thought that he didn't have to obey the rules that everyone else did. After all the owner of the rehab and the director of the rehab were there with him a lot.
Reality soon set in and he had to do his chores like everyone else. Reality was rough on him. They aired the Dr. Oz segment with him while he and I were still in rehab. The rehab facility would not allow the patients to see the show. They did allow Jared to see it.
He came to me after viewing the segment and he was sick. You see he had an intervention on national television. He said that he looked stupid and out of it. Not quite the glamor that he had envisioned.
It really became difficult for him after that. He didn't want anyone outside to know that he was the guy in the Dr. Oz show. He was ashamed of how he acted on air in front of a national television audience.
I "graduated" from rehab about a week before Jared "graduated". We exchanged phone numbers and he promised to call me when he got out. I tried several times to call, but the number he gave me was changed.
I didn't know it at the time, but I got a good phone number for Jared the day that he died. I called the number and all I got was his voice mail.
I will go into this more later, but all of these young men had a problem with God or their Higher Power. They just didn't believe and it made it all that more hard for them.
While I was in rehab, another young man, Chance, died from an overdose. He had "graduated" from rehab 2 weeks before I got there. They said he was a star in group therapy and knew what to do.
I called my sponsor and told him about Jared. He said that another young man, Scott, has just died.
That's 3 lives in less than 60 days. Alcohol and addictions KILL. Lives are lost to car wrecks involving drugs and alcohol. People die from overdoses. Those just our of rehab are really some of the most likely to die. They had gotten clean and their systems no longer had any drugs in them. They get out and decide to shoot up with the same amount that they had been doing prior to rehab. It kills them.
You know these are lives wasted. They were just as many young women in rehab too. We are talking about a disease of the mind. Some just never get it.
Jared was a special young man. Very smart and likable. RIP now Jared.
Mike Carlson
I wanted to include this you tube video, The Pusher. Please don't listen if it offends you. All I can say if there is someone that God should damn, that would be The Pusher.
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